One of the main things that age us faster is the way we deal with our inner feelings and stress levels. Hatred and anger are some of the things that people like to hold onto, but here we are going to look at how to let it go.
How many times have we said to ourselves “I hate this or that” or even “ I hate him/her”, but where does hate get us, does it make us feel any better by declaring we hate something or somebody?
Hate is a negative feeling and negative feelings only bring about more negativity. When we think of the word hate we start to have thoughts of coldness towards others or something, we automatically isolate ourselves from that person or situation and nothing good can come from feelings such as these.
There are many types of hate such as racial, sexual, ethnicity or just plain disliking a situation or disliking a situation due to a phobia, here are some ways you can think about turning the hatred into a more positive and good approach.
Different Types Of Hatred
Racial Hatred
People are people, we are all flesh and blood whatever the color of our skin or our background in life, we all have the same color blood flowing through our veins. We also all have the same shape hearts and brains. We all have fingers, toes, and the ability to communicate.
Why then do so many people profess to hate someone else just because they have a different color skin or come from a different country?
It is worthwhile remembering that underneath we are all basically the same and want the same out of life for ourselves and our families, there are good and bad people of all colors and nationalities in life. So instead of just hating someone because they look different to you look deeper inside than the color of the skin and see the true person. This is the first step on how to let it go.
Hate Due To A Phobia
People can truly hate certain situations or objects in life due to excessive phobia. This could be anything from the hate of heights, spiders, snakes, the dentist, or being enclosed in elevators.
This type of hate is brought about by fear, a deep fear of something or for a situation that for those affected have hardly any or no control over, however since fear is all about feelings and thoughts, fear and hate of this type can be controlled with the mind with a little help and know-how.
An analyst can help to turn this type of hate and fear into a more positive outlook and help the person overcome the phobia and turn a fearful situation into a good one. So the best method on how to let this type of hatred go is to seek professional help.
Sexual Hatred
What difference does a person’s sexual preference make to the person that they are, many people hate others solely based on their sexual preference, but why?
For example, you could meet someone quite by chance enjoy being in their company, laugh, talk have a great time until you found out that they were gay. All of a sudden your feelings alter towards this person yet nothing has substantially changed from a few minutes ago, the person hasn’t changed, they are still the same person you were having fun with whom you liked being with, yet this simple point changes everything.
Maybe it’s just a matter of ethics, how you were brought up, what you were brought up to believe in, but why can’t you change your thoughts and feelings, why can’t you just allow yourself to continue having fun and enjoying being with that person? If they were a good person before the admittance of their sexual preference then they still are now.
How To Let It Go
In order to get the most out of every day you have to start with yourself and it is essential that you look after yourself.
This happens by eating a healthy diet, getting plenty of exercises, making sure you get enough sleep and taking care of yourself in general.
Having a daily schedule is also a necessity, by planning a daily schedule you are sure to give yourself some “me” time. We all need time to our self to just enjoy doing what we like, be it listening to music, taking a walk, a long hot soak in the tub, or a hobby.
So what can we do to make sure we get the most out of every day? Here are some tips to help you.
Have A Daily To-Do List
We all have certain chores that must be taken of on a daily basis, do these chores in order of importance and don’t let them pile up, however, sing along to the radio while you are doing the dishes, dance along with the vacuum as you push it around the house. Take pleasure in doing mundane chores and turn them into an enjoyable experience instead of moaning and grumbling about having to do them.
Forgive Yourself
If at the end of your day you find you didn’t accomplish all that you set out to do then forgive yourself and say to yourself “I did the best I possibly could and made the most of today, tomorrow is a brand new day”. Don’t beat yourself up about some minor things you didn’t accomplish and worry about it, there’s always tomorrow and as long as you made the most out of today that’s all that matters.
Take Regular Breaks
Whether you are at home or work, give yourself a break every now and again, even if it’s only for 5 minutes, learn a quick relaxation technique and unwind if you are beginning to feel tense or stressed. If at work then get up and stretch your legs or grab a cup of coffee and say hello with a smile to everyone you pass on your way to the coffee machine.
Do Something You Love
Make a point of setting some time aside each day just for you and do what you love to do. This could be reading, taking a bubble bath, meditating, going to the gym, or basically anything which you really enjoy doing and which makes you feel good and puts a smile on your face.
Positive Thinking
Try to have a positive attitude towards life even when things aren’t particularly going the way we want them too. Try to look for the good in the situation and what you can learn from it, rather than looking at it in a totally negative way.
Don’t Hold Onto Grudges
By holding onto grudges, we are holding onto the past and this holds us back and stops us from growing and going onward with our lives.
Grudges and not allowing ourselves to let go of the past is negative and negativity holds us back and stops us from achieving what we are capable of achieving out of life and also encourages resentment, unhappiness, and fear instead of being happy in life and finding peace within ourselves.
Forgiveness is the key to happiness. True forgiveness is when you can release all your negative feelings towards another and let them go completely. You have to let the grudge go not only through words of acceptance but also feel it in your heart and soul.
Why is forgiving so difficult to do?
It is our negative ego that causes us to hold a grudge and tells us not to let it go. Like all things that block success and happiness in our life, negativity again plays a huge part, only this time it affects our ego.
By letting negativity affect our lives in this way we are opening up the door and welcoming bitterness and deep resentment and these manifest deep within us and show themselves in our health.
Did you know that holding onto a grudge can cause ulcers, stress, and general overall poor health, so it is essential that we learn to let go of our resentment and move on with life by letting go of our grudges?
As with every other problem relating to negativity in our lives, it is all about how we think. Forgiveness plays a major role in learning how to let it go.
Developing The Ability To Let Go
Developing the ability to let go takes time, if you allow yourself to look at your feelings honestly and calmly then you will realize that negative feelings evaporate and you begin to feel peace of mind through letting go of deep resentment.
The key to truly forgiving is first being able to release your hurt and anger that person has caused you, without letting go of these feelings; true forgiveness is next to impossible. If you try to forgive without releasing these feelings then the hurt and anger you feel will only continue to build and will manifest as resentment further down the road and resentment will eventually rear its ugly head, have no doubt about that.
A great way of releasing your feelings is to look directly at them and in great detail, admitting what it is that has hurt you and why it hurt you and realizing why you have to let it go.
Look at your feelings in a different light and gradually allow yourself to forgive and let go. Forgiveness has to come from deep within you. There is no outside force that keeps a grudge building up, the feelings of forgiveness can only be generated from within yourself.
Only you can take responsibility and forgive and let go and move on in a more peaceful and contented life.
Remember that success and happiness are not always material.
When most people think of happiness and being successful they think of owning big houses, fast cars, expensive designer clothes, and how big of a bank balance you have, however, how successful and happy you do not necessarily depend on the material things you have in life.
If you are happy in life with what you have got regardless of the material possessions that you own or don’t own, then you are a very wealthy and successful person indeed.
It is very often the smallest things in life that are priceless but are not of any great value other than the particular person who cherishes them for one reason or another. These can be photographs, cards, a song or even memories that can be precious to an individual.
In a society where we have been brought up believing material possessions are what is important it can be hard to believe that owning material possessions isn’t what makes us happy and brings success. How common it is to hear someone say “if only I had this or that, I would be the happiest person on earth,” however should we get what it is we wish for we are never satisfied and only begin to dream and wish we had something better.
The newness of having a material possession soon wears off, and this pattern is continued throughout life in the majority of people. This is perhaps easier to realize if you think back to when you were a child, your parents would spend hundreds of dollars on birthdays and Christmas presents because you had to have that “special” toy, but how quickly they were discarded when something new came onto the scene.
The same applies to wealth, it doesn’t matter how much money you had, would you really think that you had enough? Would having a bank account with thousands of dollars make such a difference to your life, would it bring you any more happiness or success than you have now?
We all want to live a comfortable life, without struggling each month to pay bills, that’s only natural, but apart from that money doesn’t bring true happiness and success, you can have thousands in the bank but if you’re alone in life, without real friends and family, without love, then you can never find true happiness and success.
What Are Success And Happiness?
In order to determine actually what success and happiness mean you should first ask yourself this:
- What is the meaning of success and happiness?
- What would being truly successful and happy mean?
- What do I want out of life?
These are the core questions behind understanding what happiness and success really would mean to you as an individual, for happiness and success means different things to each of us. You can be rich and successful in many more ways than having material possessions and money. Think about some of the things you have in your life now, are you one of the richest and most successful people on the earth?
- True friends – if you can count on one hand five true friends who are always there for you through thick and thin then you are rich indeed.
- Health – if you have good health through taking care of what you eat, exercising regularly then this is far more valuable than any amount of money in the bank.
- A family – if you have a family around you who loves you then you will have a successful, rewarding, and very happy life.
- A good character – if you are an honest, kind, and truthful person in all situations then you have success beyond your wildest dreams.
Please feel free to comment below if you have any more ideas on how to let it go and live the life that you deserve.
Thanks for this post; I try every day to stay positive; And 80% of the time I am. Yes; you are right; people do have feelings that are made from things like ‘ family, friends, school, as an instance; The thing is; I feel, that hate and all things stated in your article will always be in societies.
As for exercise; I could do with getting more done in that area.
I will come back to your site; When I need a re-boot. (A well-presented article)
Thanks again
Hello there! this is an amazing article you have got here. I am sure this quality information will be beneficial to anyone who come across it.
Sincerely this post is helping me at the moment as I’m finding it hard to forgive my ex for what he did to me. I will try having a Daily To-Do List, I just hope it helps me.
Thanks for stopping by Joy and yes forgiveness is sometimes difficult, but it can be very liberating too.