If you are sick to death of other people telling you what to do all the time and you feel like they don’t want to let you be, this is how to live your own life.
Don’t get me wrong, it is sometimes great to get advice from others, but sometimes it is almost like they are telling you what you should do, rather than letting you make up your own mind.
How To Live Your Own Life
As children, your parents obviously had dreams for you.
They pushed you to do well in school and to do whatever was necessary to reach your highest potential.
Later in life, friends may have tried to set you up with their idea of the perfect partner or the perfect job.
Spouses sometimes also have agendas for you.
Unfortunately, most of us realize this only as we get older and take a look back at the choices we have made or been coerced into making during our lives.
People that are close to you may have ideas about how you should live your life, and they are ideas that usually come from love and the desire for you to be happy.
Other times, they come from a place of need within themselves, whether it is the parent who wants you to live out his or her dreams or the friend or spouse who wants you to play an already-defined role. Whatever the case is, you can appreciate and consider those people’s input, but ultimately you must follow your own inner guidance and learn how to live your own life.
There usually comes a time when all the suggestions can become overbearing.
You may feel that the people you love don’t approve of your judgment, which can hurt your feelings. It can interfere with the choices you make for your own life by making you doubt yourself, or filling a void with their wishes before you’ve had a chance to decide what you want for yourself.
It can affect you energetically as well. You may have to deal with feelings of resistance or the need to shut yourself off from them. But you can take some time to rid yourself of any unnecessary doubts and go within to become clear on what you really desire for yourself.
Dealing With Well-Meaning Loved Ones
Here are seven suggestions that may help you to deal with well-meaning loved ones:
- Figure out what you want and stick to it. Don’t let other people pressure you into making decisions you don’t want to make.
- Respect their opinions and beliefs, but don’t let them dictate your decisions.
- Be super confident in your own decisions.
- Learn how to say ‘no.’ Remember it is OK to decline requests if they are going against what you want in life.
- Take criticism constructively, but don’t let it overwhelm you.
- Set boundaries with other people and respect your own.
- Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself.
You need to recognize that at the end of the day, you are the only one responsible for your own life.
It is yours to take control of and live the way you want to live it
Try telling your loved ones how much you appreciate their thoughts and ideas, but that you need to live your own life and make your own decisions.
You can explain that they need to let you learn from your own experiences rather than rob you of wonderful life lessons and the opportunity to fine-tune your own judgment.
When they see that you are happy with your life and the path you are taking to reach your goals, they can rest assured that all you need them to do is to share in your joy.
I believe this is so great, I would like to think of this as not being a people pleaser because in the end, you will not be happy, once you make your decisions you need to stick with it although advice may come listen to it, analysis it but if you still feel happy with why you choose what you choose then go for it. People will have their opinion but you need to live by your own choices.
Well said Norman. Only you know what is best for you.
Ahhh, this is something I have had to take in consideration with my life. I actually had a conversation with one of my son’s friends regarding how family, environment, religion, etc help shape your life; however, you need to be able to be the ultimate decider of which road you walk down. For example, I told her my entire life was mostly about pleasing others and not actually pursuing what I was interested in. Now that I am in my forties, I have been able to take some of your recommendations and start to pursue what I want.
Thank you for your post!
It’s strange that only as we get older do we get braver and reach for what we want in life, without worrying what others think.
I think that this is wonderful, and I would like to think of this as not being a people pleaser because, in the end, you will not be happy. Once you make your decisions, you need to stick with it although advice may come and you should listen to it and analyze it, if you still feel happy with why you choose what you choose, then go for it.
I believe that this is great, and I would like to think of this as not being a people pleaser because in the end, you will not be happy as people will always have something to say, but you have to live your life according to the decisions you make for yourself.
I want to express my gratitude for this great article. I will most certainly pass this along.
Well said Pasindu, as the only person you actually need to please in the end is yourself afterall.
Your list of 7 ways to live you own life is very practical. I don’t know at what age I began to have confidence in my ability to make decisions, but, at that time, I realized that I could learn something from almost everyone. I began to listen to others and decide how to apply their advice. At that point, what others told me changed in my mind from being instruction or directives to advice. I could apply it or not. I hope your article frees some people who are bogged down by what everyone else things they should be doing.
Jim
Thank you for taking the time to comment. I appreciate you.